texts from five minutes ago

• me: So when people say "I don't get Tumblr, explain it to me!", I just... What the fuck do I look like, the explanation police? Go away
• me: At least once a week, my brother's all "Explain Twitter to me, IT'S SO POINTLESS LOLZ". I go on LJ, people are all "EXPLAIN TUMBLR TO ME, IT IS SO STUPID". I go to G+, and I'm sure eventually someone will say "EXPLAIN LJ TO ME, EVERYONE THERE WRITES HARRY POTTER TAKING IT UP THE ASS"
• me: I'm waiting for the inevitable "EXPLAIN ASTROPHYSICS TO ME, WTF IS THE BIG BANG"
• me: I'm going to email JC and go "EXPLAIN NASCAR TO ME, WHY DO THEY ONLY TURN LEFT???"